First off, in order to be who I want to be, I have to let go of all of this negativity that runs through my thoughts. I have to stop believing that I am worthless, and unable to solve my problems.  As CS Lewis wrote, "You are who you believe you are!" So if I dont' believe that I am of value, I will act out that belief.  If I believe I am unable to solve my problems, I will be unable to solve my problems.  If I believe that I don't belong, I will act like I don't belong.  If I believe that I am of no good, I will act like I  am no good. It all starts with those wrong thinking patters, which fuel beliefs, which then fuel actions. I have to dig deep and start at the bottom - my heart and mind.