Today I have been soul searching about why I struggle with standing up for myself.  I have always been very quiet and most often than not it has been my family, or friends that have stood up for me.  What is it that keeps me a doormat for these people?  Why can't I find the inner strength to say I'm not going to put up with your crap.  Why do I allow myself to be run over?  That needs to stop.  I need to act like I am value and worth because I AM of value and worth.

First off, in order to be who I want to be, I have to let go of all of this negativity that runs through my thoughts. I have to stop believing that I am worthless, and unable to solve my problems.  As CS Lewis wrote, "You are who you believe you are!" So if I dont' believe that I am of value, I will act out that belief.  If I believe I am unable to solve my problems, I will be unable to solve my problems.  If I believe that I don't belong, I will act like I don't belong.  If I believe that I am of no good, I will act like I  am no good. It all starts with those wrong thinking patters, which fuel beliefs, which then fuel actions. I have to dig deep and start at the bottom - my heart and mind.

So...what are my goals in life? Who do I want to be? I want to be a teacher and invest into young souls. I'm wondering now if that's a stretch?  We will see.  Things of value require great faith to believe that it will come to pass...and I have many many promises in God's Word that talks about his faithfulness in our lives.