This has been the hardest day yet I'm so tired of this job I desperately want to quit! Kids wouldn't listen and I am just plain tired. How do I find the strength to go on days like these? How do I change my persective on days when I feel like a failure?
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
The Middle of the Week
So I'm sitting here writing this--as they nap. Goodness knows this has been a rough day. We did a few of our usual activities but I think they are getting too bored with it. They are getting too used to the routine I think. I'm gonna have to change up what I do that includes more activities. Some of my older kids have moved up to big class and I'm getting some younger ones. So that means more conflict, slapping, screaming, ahhhh. I want to scream. I have to remind myself to keep it together....that love is patient. Love is kind. Love doesn't lose it. Or get upset easily. Whew. Easier said than done.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
A picture of us
I have a little girl who is very independent and wants to do things on her own and she would not let me help with her jacket. I want to do it on my own! So I let her. In another 5 minutes she came back with a mess. She had put her sleeves but it looked awkward...her hoodie was going the opposite direction! "Ms Rosi, can you help me!" It was so hard not to laugh. I helped her and came to a realization. How many times do I do that with God as His child? I act like I don't need God and since God is a gentlemen He lets me and moves out of my way. Then when I realize I've made a mess of things I come back to Him and I say "Jesus, can you please help me?" holding my mess or my brokenness brought on by trying to do it by myself. I'm sure He tries not to laugh but He kneels down and picks up our mess and cleans it up. Comforting to know whatever situation we are in that we messed up we can call on Him to help.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
I have learned that you cannot have a relationship with God + fear. It's a relationship with God + your heart = salvation. Once you give Him all your heart (weaknesses, fears, dreams, desires) He will turn those ugly things into beautiful things. He will turn it into you praising Him because in the end you realize that all that time you thought this and that problem needed this specific solution that you thought you had the answer to - well in the end the answer & solution to every single problem, bad relationship, career fallout, was JESUS. The answer was that you needed to realize in every single thing your supposed to look to the author and finisher of our faith. We are supposed to look to Jesus Christ. Not in our own abilities. Our walk of faith is not our efforts. It is truly laying your life down completely ALL OF IT and saying Jesus I don't have the answers. What should I do? And allowing Him to speak to you through His word. Our walk of faith is COMPLETE & TOTAL DEPENDENCE on Him. That's why worry, fears, anxiety is supposed to be eliminated. It's because YOUR NOT SUPPOSED TO RELY ON YOUR EFFORTS. Your simply supposed to submit and surrender ALL TO GOD. Say It's ALL HERE GOD. WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH IT? Our faith walk is holding on so tightly to Christ, that we don't trust that ANY of our efforts will bring us closer to Christ. It's simply going to the Word, feeding our soul with it, and praying to God with all of our concerns and seeing God's power being released into our lives and change people's lives around us. We are NOT SUPPOSED TO FEAR. Who we fear is who we honor. Honor God by fearing Him first which means we are motivated to live for Him since we realize God has our back! HE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT HAS THE POWER to change the situation we are truly in! So that's why we should not fear people! People will come and go. Feelings and emotions will change in them. BECAUSE GOD CAN DO THAT. He can do that. He really can. I've seen answered prayers in people that I was afraid of, that I didn't know what else to do with! God brought life & hope back into those relationship and those situations every time. (With my family, career, and my boss)
Thursday, December 27, 2012
So....today I am pooped. I don't have any energy left for tomorrow but by the grace of God I will get through. I've been going through a lot, and I know that my sensitive nature has been pummeled. I feel like I'm taking a beating from all sides and no one to protect me. I feel attacked on all ends, but dear God I know that's not true. It just feels like it, but it's not true. I just started my new job, new living arrangements, new church, new chance at life. It's my clean slate!!!! I beg God to not let it get me down.
Becoming me---is all about discovering I am while seeing myself through God's eyes. It's also about blogging my way through my path to being a teacher and sharing myself to other children that need to know about God's love! I haven't been faithful to doing that as of late, so lately it's been about surviving my kids. I want to revamp my classroom plan so that I focus on sharing God's love and not letting myself get crazy!! So I'm going to make an effort to blog about my kids and describe each and every one of them to you without giving who they are away. (I've changed their names to protect them)
There's Minion reminds me of myself. He is precious, quiet, and is so willing to work with others. Every time you say Minion, he always "Coming!" He is so willing & able to come to help me out & to listen when he hears me.
There's also Kayla. She is my little adult. She tries to be the mature one. She seems to have an answer for everything. She is also my little communicator.
Then there's Krissy. She is the baby of the class. She is also is very fierce. When it comes to getting her way. I'm trusting that God has a lesson for me to learn in her ;)
There's also Trent. He is my little rambunctious one. He always has a smile to share, and is full of life & energy. Always have to be on my toes with him. haha.
Then there's Brandon. I understand why teachers say they secretly have favorites. He is his own little person. Whenever I have a cup, a bag of chips, or anything else that belongs to me....He always says "Here ya go Rosa." Or if anyone takes it away he always grabs it and runs over to me "Here ya go! Rosa" For the life of me I can't figure out ways to convince him going potty is the most exciting thing he'll ever discover lol.
And I won't leave out my little teacher. Ariel is the one during playtime lining up all the chairs and sitting her little bears in those chairs. She has those precious brown eyes and always looks directly at me when she knows she's in trouble.
Then there's Jenna. Sometimes I don't understand half of what she's saying but she always has these beautiful blue eyes & she seems to listen.
Then there's another precious girl. Kristen. She always has a mischievous grin....and she tells her Mommie that her favorite teacher is "Miss Rosi." I love her smile...her beauty. She's gracious & cute.
How can I forget Porcelain? She always is so eager to please, eager to listen, and likes to spend time with me. She has a smile, even after the bad days, for me. When I think I've crushed this poor spirit, she bounces back with a smile - that shoots straight for my heart.
Ah...but if we're stopping by to talk about children, the last (but not least) is Barbie. When she first started coming to our daycare she was always so....happy. Always had a smile. Always laughing. She was just full of joy. So full of joy. She would always run up to me and just hang on to my leg. Although she gave other people a hard time, I secretly loved this little girl. Even as the more she got older the more difficult she became...I still loved her joyfulness, her care, her spirit.
My kids. Either they are problems....or blessings. I choose to see them as blessings....even when I want to say they are the opposite.
Today...I had a total of four kids. I always appreciate the days with low numbers because they allow me to have a breather which I know will not happen when I get a full load the entire week. I appreciate those days. Today. We painted a panda bear. Every one has their own different painting style & I loved theirs. I hung their finished painting job on the ceiling close by the lunch table. It's a routine everyday. Although the afternoon is different.
Today Brandon who is usual jolly & happy was unhappy towards the end. He got upset over something very minor and could not seem to overcome that towards the end of the day. I didn't know what else to do except send him to the office. He cried & was sitting there in solitary silence when I went to get him. Poor thing. His mom has recently been dating this man who seems to not have hit it so well with Brandon. I remember the last time he came to pick up Brandon, I said Brandon "Look who's here!" He looks up and says "Daddy!" Then when he looks up his Mom's boyfriend is standing there and his spirit and face is crushed. He silently walks over to the wall and faces it. I felt like I was in a very awkward moment, and found a way to overcome by simply asking him to walk over to my refrigerator because I had something for him. He chose to come over and we went through that bump in the road with no problem. Whew. My heart breaks for children like that....who have to face those types of situations when I've never had to face that at all.
Through it all, there is a lesson to be learned. It's made me tougher about being firm in my decision towards doing something and not doubting myself because the children began to doubt me as well. The labor of love that I have for them is simply because I love them. I realize that I want the best for them, and how God simply wants the best for them. But the most important thing I've learned about this all - is simply when your obedient there is much more that can be accomplished than if you are not. There is much more. And when someone is asking you to do something it simply is because it is the best. And when you simply do what you can to follow in the end it works out for everyone!! God has been slowly been teaching me about simply obeying Him in the small things. The simple act of obedience in reading the Bible & praying. God has taken me through Canaanland to the Promised Land, to the acts of God's blessings when Israel followed Him, and their downfall when they chose to follow their other gods. He knows what's best. If we can simply believe, follow Him, and trust Him He can do much more in our lives through His strength and not our own!! Amen & Amen. God is forever faithful. Thank you Father.
There's Minion reminds me of myself. He is precious, quiet, and is so willing to work with others. Every time you say Minion, he always "Coming!" He is so willing & able to come to help me out & to listen when he hears me.
There's also Kayla. She is my little adult. She tries to be the mature one. She seems to have an answer for everything. She is also my little communicator.
Then there's Krissy. She is the baby of the class. She is also is very fierce. When it comes to getting her way. I'm trusting that God has a lesson for me to learn in her ;)
There's also Trent. He is my little rambunctious one. He always has a smile to share, and is full of life & energy. Always have to be on my toes with him. haha.
Then there's Brandon. I understand why teachers say they secretly have favorites. He is his own little person. Whenever I have a cup, a bag of chips, or anything else that belongs to me....He always says "Here ya go Rosa." Or if anyone takes it away he always grabs it and runs over to me "Here ya go! Rosa" For the life of me I can't figure out ways to convince him going potty is the most exciting thing he'll ever discover lol.
And I won't leave out my little teacher. Ariel is the one during playtime lining up all the chairs and sitting her little bears in those chairs. She has those precious brown eyes and always looks directly at me when she knows she's in trouble.
Then there's Jenna. Sometimes I don't understand half of what she's saying but she always has these beautiful blue eyes & she seems to listen.
Then there's another precious girl. Kristen. She always has a mischievous grin....and she tells her Mommie that her favorite teacher is "Miss Rosi." I love her smile...her beauty. She's gracious & cute.
How can I forget Porcelain? She always is so eager to please, eager to listen, and likes to spend time with me. She has a smile, even after the bad days, for me. When I think I've crushed this poor spirit, she bounces back with a smile - that shoots straight for my heart.
Ah...but if we're stopping by to talk about children, the last (but not least) is Barbie. When she first started coming to our daycare she was always so....happy. Always had a smile. Always laughing. She was just full of joy. So full of joy. She would always run up to me and just hang on to my leg. Although she gave other people a hard time, I secretly loved this little girl. Even as the more she got older the more difficult she became...I still loved her joyfulness, her care, her spirit.
My kids. Either they are problems....or blessings. I choose to see them as blessings....even when I want to say they are the opposite.
Today...I had a total of four kids. I always appreciate the days with low numbers because they allow me to have a breather which I know will not happen when I get a full load the entire week. I appreciate those days. Today. We painted a panda bear. Every one has their own different painting style & I loved theirs. I hung their finished painting job on the ceiling close by the lunch table. It's a routine everyday. Although the afternoon is different.
Today Brandon who is usual jolly & happy was unhappy towards the end. He got upset over something very minor and could not seem to overcome that towards the end of the day. I didn't know what else to do except send him to the office. He cried & was sitting there in solitary silence when I went to get him. Poor thing. His mom has recently been dating this man who seems to not have hit it so well with Brandon. I remember the last time he came to pick up Brandon, I said Brandon "Look who's here!" He looks up and says "Daddy!" Then when he looks up his Mom's boyfriend is standing there and his spirit and face is crushed. He silently walks over to the wall and faces it. I felt like I was in a very awkward moment, and found a way to overcome by simply asking him to walk over to my refrigerator because I had something for him. He chose to come over and we went through that bump in the road with no problem. Whew. My heart breaks for children like that....who have to face those types of situations when I've never had to face that at all.
Through it all, there is a lesson to be learned. It's made me tougher about being firm in my decision towards doing something and not doubting myself because the children began to doubt me as well. The labor of love that I have for them is simply because I love them. I realize that I want the best for them, and how God simply wants the best for them. But the most important thing I've learned about this all - is simply when your obedient there is much more that can be accomplished than if you are not. There is much more. And when someone is asking you to do something it simply is because it is the best. And when you simply do what you can to follow in the end it works out for everyone!! God has been slowly been teaching me about simply obeying Him in the small things. The simple act of obedience in reading the Bible & praying. God has taken me through Canaanland to the Promised Land, to the acts of God's blessings when Israel followed Him, and their downfall when they chose to follow their other gods. He knows what's best. If we can simply believe, follow Him, and trust Him He can do much more in our lives through His strength and not our own!! Amen & Amen. God is forever faithful. Thank you Father.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)